The passive competitive persona falls in as a character dysfunction. Characterized by way of negativity, sullenness, and blamelessness, they aren’t a lot amusing.
Let’s face it, we ALL may also be passive competitive – while you say one thing showing passive, however the underlying tone is relatively competitive defines it. For maximum folks, it creeps up once we aren’t anticipating it. But, for some, it turns into a whole way of living. For the passive competitive persona, underlying hostility seethes.
What is an instance of being passive competitive? Imagine this, you ask your buddy the place they would like to opt for the evening. They say “I don’t care, you choose.” Then you are saying “Let’s go to McGonaguls,” and their resolution is “Oh, not that place.” The passive nature in them led them to say “I don’t care.” But, the follow-up negation of the place you need to move is the place the aggression lies. I don’t care—how silly. See the dichotomy? [Read: 15 best ways to cut out the drama in conflict]
The 15 indicators of passive competitive persona
For the passive competitive persona, it’s an approach to life. They fake as though not anything bothers them and so they don’t have a care in the international. But, if you are making one misstep, say one thing they don’t believe, otherwise you don’t do what they secretly need, you then get slapped with hostility.
#1 You can’t maintain them. Dealing with any individual with a passive competitive persona is akin to banging your head towards the wall. It serves no objective. You obtain not anything out of it however a headache and excessive frustration.
Doing the whole lot however listening to what you are saying, they skirt the factor, throw out shit from the previous, or utterly trade the matter, in order that they don’t have to be responsible to any individual. [Read: 25 early warning signs of toxic people]
#2 They are uncomfortable to be round. People with passive competitive persona dysfunction *sure, it’s technically a character dysfunction* are very uncomfortable to be round as a result of they simply exude hostility and anger with out reason.
Since they generally tend to grasp the whole lot in and simply let it take a seat and stew, you bodily really feel it when you’re round them. It simply doesn’t make you need to hang around. [Read: 10 scenarios when it’s okay to ghost a friend]
#three You infrequently see the hostility that lies underneath. Although you’re feeling the underlying anger, you by no means truly get to see it. What they are saying and the techniques they behave, are very complicated.
They say the whole lot is ok, however you’re feeling as if you’re status subsequent to a ticking time bomb. You don’t have to see an explosion to listen the countdown.
#four Even regardless that their behaviors aren’t productive, they repeat them. To the onlooker, their behaviors aren’t productive, and the passive competitive persona by no means finally ends up getting what they would like. They proceed to do the identical factor again and again.
What you don’t perceive status on the outdoor is how they get precisely what they would like. They make you’re feeling accountable, put the whole lot on you, and stroll away and not using a unmarried care or accountability in the international. What is nonproductive to the ones round them is terribly productive to the passive competitive persona. [Read: How to get rid of a toxic friend]
#five They keep away from taking accountability for the rest. A passive competitive persona blames everybody round them and not takes accountability for the rest. Even when it’s obviously their fault, they aren’t above claiming “the devil made me do it.” It isn’t ever going to be their fault. They in finding someplace to deposit all the blame. It makes no distinction who the goal is.
#6 They are typically extraordinarily damaging and pessimistic. The author of Eeyore shaped the personality after any individual passive competitive. The international is at all times towards them, not anything is ever going to paintings, and they are going to at all times be unsatisfied. So, if you understand a passive competitive persona, prevent making an attempt to please them. You’ll by no means succeed in it.
#7 They bitch continuously about being beneath favored. The passive competitive persona is rarely relatively compensated. Not monetarily and no longer with reward. You actually simply get performed pronouncing “thank you,” and so they move on and on about how ungrateful you’re.
In their international, they deserve all the appreciation. No quantity is ever sufficient, and so they assist you to are aware of it. [Read: 10 ways to calmly deal with difficult people]
#eight They accuse other people of deceptive or deceiving them. The passive competitive persona is at all times being dumped on, put down, and lied to. Conspiracy theorist to the best possible, and so they imagine any individual is at all times out to get them.
#nine They don’t simply say “no.” They procrastinate till you surrender. Procrastination is a passive competitive persona’s easiest buddy. They gained’t ever come proper out and say they gained’t or don’t need to do one thing.
They say sure and both no longer display, or put you off till a time that you simply ask any individual else for assist. Once you do, they are going to be proper on your face asking why you didn’t simply look forward to them. Because they have been with reference to to assist, in fact. [Read: 10 tips for setting boundaries with difficult people]
#10 They criticize pathologically. There is not anything excellent or proper of their international. If you are living with one, you want a robust vanity. Nothing you ever do will likely be proper or excellent sufficient. And not anything will ever be as excellent as they may do. Then once more, you wouldn’t respect it anyway.
#11 They do the whole lot “half-assed.” Since they truly don’t need to do what they mentioned they might, once they do keep on with via, they in most cases do issues “half-assed.”
They do it so shitty that you understand they have been displeased at being requested. You indisputably gained’t ask them once more. Or so that you’re going to suppose that they simply aren’t succesful and gained’t ask once more. The identical consequence, other modality.
#12 Whatever you are saying, they naysay simply to disagree. Since the passive competitive persona is sullen and depressing, the whole lot you are saying is refutable and fallacious. They take the satan’s recommend simply to be on the reverse facet to argue.
They don’t even imagine in what they are saying from time to time, and also you indisputably gained’t. It is like taking part in a silly kid’s recreation. [Read: Why is everyone so easily offended these days?]
#13 They are resolute in their very own reviews and refuse to pay attention to any individual else’s. The passive competitive persona refuses to listen your reviews or what you suppose. They know what they know, and so they aren’t about to let any individual inform them otherwise.
So, stay your reviews to your self or else. You aren’t going to trade their thoughts, ever.
#14 They dislike authority. A passive competitive persona truly hates individuals who grasp any authority. Makes no distinction whether it is the dean in school or the cop on the side road. Authority is not anything however some other manner to knock them down a notch. [Read: 13 clues to know if someone has emotional maturity]
#15 There is at all times an object of resentment or anyone or factor that “did them fallacious.” If you communicate to a passive competitive persona, they may have the maximum superior existence ever and 1,000,000 bucks in the financial institution. But what they discuss as a substitute is how their easiest buddy in grammar college stole their lunch someday.
Always taking a look on the darkish facet, in the event that they weren’t depressing, they might be depressing.
The passive competitive persona is technically a dysfunction, however what isn’t when it comes to personalities?
An excessively tough form of human being to maintain, they’re sullen, damaging, and exude uncomfortableness. And it doesn’t matter what you do you’ll be able to’t please them, you’ll be able to’t pin the rest on them, and also you easiest no longer argue with them[Read: How to deal with passive aggressive behavior calmly and with class]
Sounds amusing to be round a passive competitive persona, doesn’t it? If this describes any individual you understand, congratulations, you simply figured it out. Guess what? It isn’t ever going to trade, Eeyore is solely who Eeyore is.
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